The Ham Sandwich is the lost play by Philipth Morley. It is referred to as a "tragicomedy", a mixture of tragedy and comedy, two genres that don't mix.

In the Fable III quest Missing Play, the Hero has to re-enact three parts of different plays after picking up the book and getting absorbed into it. Morley himself calls the play a disaster and doesn't want you to take it due to this, but after seeing you perform his other works with such good acting or adding new life to his work, then he will give you the play.

After the hero gets the play out, Lambert and Pinch act it out to the people of Brightwall. The play largely involves each character personifying their respective genre with Tragedy, speaking in Early Modern English, of the horrors of life. Comedy jumps in occasionally to deliver non-sequitur jokes in modern English. The play is met with poor reviews from critics, the townspeople and "a passing chicken with a decent understanding of the English language".

Contents Edit

Description Edit

A tragicomedy. The title refers to the comedy and the tragedy, which are the two pieces of bread holding the meat of the matter together

The Final Scene Edit

Hark! Bear witness to the tragic futility that is man. Oh how it doth sear my senses to see paradise and yet to be barred.

That reminds me of a great joke. A guard, a monk, and a chicken walk into a bar. Unfortunately, the bartender had had a mild heart attack that morning, so none of them get served.

And yet what purpose doth heartache serve, when the infinite dark blanket that is death falls softly upon our still beating corpse?

That reminds me of another one. A corpse walks into a bar and says, 'Can I have a lemonade?' 'Certainly,' replies the bartender, 'I've never seen a stiff drink.'

And so endeth our happy-sad play, which reminds us we are made of nothing but clay. There's time only for our fool to say...

Great, big, giant bosoms!

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